Tuesday, 30 October 2012

It's a kinda Magic

I love Queen - I first got one of their tapes while visiting Croatia. Well, to be honest my brother did. At the time I was working and he wasn't, so I basically made him trade all his possessions and dignity for a few dollars. Side note, in chatting with my BFF's sister, (the other founding member of Team WIN - oh hey Team!) we started recounting the stuff the BFF did to her sorellas (sisters) as kids. My brother then reminded me -since  I sanctimoniously said to the BFF that she wasn't a nice sister back then - of his youth and when J-Do and I used to perform 'Operation' on him. Whereby we would take tweezers and dig at his fragile belly button. Traumatizing! Bwahahaha!! Childhood, it's a wonder we make it out. Sorry Brother mine! 

Back to Queen - I love any  music that makes me feel triumphant and throwing one fist in the air

In  general, I love Triumph - not the motorbike. They don't make me feel triumphant - I wish they did as I feel they are super badass but I can only imagine my brain splayed across the highway. You're picturing it, aren't you? Or are, in fact, cooler than me and are actually picturing yourself wearing aviators and a bandana and flying across Route 66? Ok, so that last video doesn't have any motorbikes or bandanas but you might listen to it as you fly down some highway/winding road - I feel it lends itself well to that badass ethos. 

Yes! - Imbued with swagger and exultation is what I feel when I am shimmying and shaking my badonkadonk around my living room with only Moubebe to catch my sweet moves. Speaking of Moubebe - she always looks as surprised as the cat in the link which also refers to the fact that they are supposed to be cats of good fortune. Now, it IS possible that sans Mouey-do I would have met with calamity but I feel it's more likely she is the leaf that clings to the tree well past the point where it has died as she ain't moving on until something way better comes along. I think Moubebe is a medium of her own good fortune. Now that I re-read that - we should all be...shit, maybe Moubebe is advanced! 

Where the triumph-y notions have come from is I am feeling brash and sassy of late and so thought I would share that as I also (have I mentioned this before? I sometimes like to hit replay on my favourite notions/songs/movies etc) have been trying to live the mentality in that you get what you put out and, more importantly, what you invite in. 

One thing I am grateful for is my whole hearted enjoyment of everything. (for the smarty pants out there ok, not everything. I don't wholeheartedly enjoy liver, getting needles or icy puddles that lie to you and make you think they are only 2 inches deep when they are really a moat of horror) When new/amazing/perfectly suited to my mood tunes come on I feel like every cell of my being expands with delirious, riotous, joyful energy that pushes its way out to sparkle invisibly throughout the universe. I'm very confident I am not wrong about this. I feel this limitless exuberance a lot. And I am happy to just let it loose without thought of who will care and what it might mean to them. That portion isn't present all the time - I do wonder if I am being judged from time to time, mostly if there is a hot dude around (hi dudes!), and even while logically acknowledging that they probably aren't and the are/n't is irrelevant to my whole life. 

I'm also grateful for regular bowel movements as they are a sign of health and am wondering about getting a colonic. I wonder if that truly helps with health. Research. 

HOORAY! I left my wallet on the Go Train last night and it has returned to me! Thank you Universe! I am going to high five whoever hands me my wallet as I feel high fives are the best human connection ever. With the general populace, that is. 

Also related - hooray is my favourite word and makes everyone happier to say it. Give it a whirl. 

a haiku:

Oh hey brother mine
Your turn to fulfill the deal
Quit the cancer sticks. 

xo 

Friday, 26 October 2012

Cheese and bacon...and Baka

Ok so we could talk politics or feminist theory (oh, don't worry I'll get to that. I know, relief eh? - God I love Tina and Ellen...tangents, their my true fav. Well, right after....) but we are here to talk about my TRUE true loves le frommage et le bacon. 

Ay caramaba! Do you see that well deserved heart attack above? I betcha it's deep fried. And that's NOT a turn off. 

The key to life is K.I.S.S. - not the band, simplicity. And that being said, what I am not referring to is orange cheddar simplicity but simple ingredients. I loves me some Caprice des Dieux (amrite Swiley?) in addition to plain marble - it just has to be dairy. Please note - I will not be intaking Limburger and I do have a soul deep appreciation for cheese of the stinky variety. Particularly blue. Veiny, melty blue....


God, I was drifting away there. Sweet daydreams of eating.  Of my day dreams, eating features in the top 3. 


I have too much perfume on - I was leaning on my hand and I am making myself nauseous and I put it on this morning! It's a really nice perfume! It's not that it's too much, I am just not used to it but I am used to Baka telling me when people wear too much. Baka is always right. Especially about eating raw garlic. Which conveniently leads me to bacon. If there is anything I have inherited from the Croatian side of my family it's a swooning love for salty, dry cured meats. At the top of every love list I have ever made ever, is špek (shpeck) (the Scottish side is a different, boozey boozey post) 

My favourite, favourite memories include eating špek with Dida in the kitchen where he would do a bouncey side to side step as (and where I get it from) he would toss several cloves of raw garlic in with the meaty pieces.  
Dida is well into his 80s and works out MacGyver style with random buckets of concrete he has on pulleys etc. which tells me that špek and raw garlic (and being MacGyver) are the fountain of youth. Wasn't MacGyver the best? Baka used to make me "fettucini alfredo" with cottage cheese and dill. It was amazing. I actually had to go back and amend this post title as I realize it's turning into an ode of my 3 favourite things. 
I'd also like to take this opportunity to thank the amazing people who have helped teach me/continue to guide me in my new found love of cooking. In university, everything I produced came under the heading, "Hey! Look what I made!" and you'll be surprised to hear featured Cheese+Bacon 98% of the time - ok you're right 100% of the time. No one -except vegetarians, lactose intolerant and crazy people - turns down a meal regardless of what it looks like (presentation - still not a forte) featuring those two nuggets of joy. I love joy. 
I feel that in my future I want either the word or image of bacon on my inner thigh. Awesome right! 
(Mumma, if you're reading this I am not a silly child and you're not the boss of me. Okay, you're the boss of me but I'm in my 30s I can do what I want!) 
The moral of the story people, I think we can all agree, is stop making drama in your lives. Feed our friends, liberally sprinkle with wine, and everything will be okay.

a haiku:
Bacon is the best
Cheese is it's slutty lover
Picture that sex fest. 

xo

Dance

The spirit compels me 

I honestly operate everyday feeling like I might explode with excitement - the inverse also happens, I do have a charmed life but it is still, in fact, Life - that feels like it is violently, in a good way, bubbling up within me and focused on the goal of Bursting Free to shower the people with its shards. 

That might not be the image I was going for. 

However, since Grade 10 my friend Bella and I would/do greet each other by wildly flicking our fingers together in a manic flutter kind of way like trying to use each others fingers to snap the others' - I'll have a gif of this one day and it's only now seeming strange I do not already - to demonstrate this phenomenon

I beam with joy to music all the time - I am trying to circle around to why I call this space Living Room Dance party. I tried to picture where I am happiest, to be able to send that out from here. It is just as likely that this blog could have been called OMIGODROLLERCOASTERWHEEEEEE! and yet. 

Dance like no one's watching seems like an overused/trite phrase but really? Doesn't it feel great? Don't you have a memory of laughing/smiling so wide you almost split your face in two, sweaty Betty shaking your
(un/co-ordinated) hips to your JAM!?! I for realsies have the music in me


But do you know what I feel dance like no one's watching is really saying?

LIKE YOUR DAMN SELF AND STOP GIVING A FUCK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE'S OPINIONS. 

Like our friend Rihanna (WHY Riri! Why Fist Brown? Does the DB have effing Ecstasy on his abusive dick?) says - No more fucks to give! I picture hands, papers etc being thrown in the air when I hear that phrase like this:



Don't you just LOVE someecards?

Anyhoo, I am happiest surrounded by my friends watching them laugh and love with each other and be so centered in the mindset that This is It, This is Perfect. 


Well, I'm crying that song kills me and I have the emotional stability of a 11  yr old. Soooo....

Haiku time!

Shake my rumpshaker!
I know you wanna shimmy
Letting go, be free

xo


Thursday, 25 October 2012

Oh hey Universe, so I was thinking...

Due in part to a seminar I am taking, I believe that there is benefit in saying what you want - be it pie in the sky or just for the day to finish a little faster.

In looking back, (hello 20/20!) I have been where I should be and instances have occurred with ideal timing - sometimes it took using historical lenses (my own perceptions thereof) to see that it was so but with this realization I am going to try and dream my own dream into reality...

Side note - I really am not the #1 editor in the world so if you notice spelling and grammar mistakes know I feel future shame. 

#1 - Dear Chuck Hughes - not only is it ALWAYS time for bacon - I love you. I'd love to be shagging like wild dogs (covered in bacon!) ASAP. I'm ready. 

#2 - Dear Jay-Z, you are the goddamn King, I love your Queen and I would really love to be organizing your concerts/making you laugh as part of your entourage. I'm funny. Trust. 

#3 - My own damn self. You're unstoppable and can do it all. You will do Tough Mudder, your next marathon and learn to swim in a style that is not dog paddle by the end of 2013. You will then expand on those accomplishments.

#4 Vous serez couramment le français i na hrvatskom, forse anche italiano, perché no?

#5 Dear sweet-ass apartments in Toronto, Split and shanty in Thailand. I can't to cross your thresholds repeatedly. And by cross your threshold I mean 

#6 I will release a book, maybe to critical acclaim maybe for a self high five of accomplishment. Capricious fate, have at'er. 

Born in the fire
Rise up proletariat
you've got some options

I've got to be UNstoppable.

xo


Tuesday, 23 October 2012

Foraging in the Musical Forest

As you may have noticed I like to link to the baby jesus.

When I was living with  my favourite roommate (holla back Golden Hawk!) I may or may not have deprived myself of precious sleep in favour of hitting the next link/blog/review site/downloading page until 4am. 


Interesting tidbit. I had a first year English class with a sassy mamacita with whom I would start the homework for the next day 8:30 AM class (water!water!water!loo!loo!loo!) around 2:30AM and we had a tried and tested theorem that 3AM crack produced genius results and 4AM crack provided answers that made the teacher check the 'Needs remedial training' box. Crack being a euphemism for level of brain tiredness. I wasn't actually an episode of Intervention (which is a harrifying show) through university. 


What doesn't help me? Genius from iTunes. Don't get me wrong, I loves me some iTunes. They are fostering my inability to listen to more than one artist at a time (if I make it through a song) - although, side rant, how many artist are TRULY trying to tell a story through an album as opposed to selling singles? No - really, tell me. I'll listen to anything.


Ahem - what I do like is, above all, just following my personal saviour, the interwebs. It never ends! It's a series of tubes! any music blogger/review/aficionado/artist/appreciater is going to link to something. Just go down the rabbit hole, you'll be fine. 


For those who like lists though here you are - Vice ReviewsSoundcloud (which is amazing for remixes/mashups/never heard before), 8Tracks, I follow a ton of sites (rolling Stone, Hype magazine, etc) on Twitter, Blog compilationGrooveshark - etc. etc. 


There are a million out there and really I post to Facebook all the time as I am really eager to share - made me happy, why not you? If you're happy who around you will you make happy? It's a joy hurricane! HOORAY! 


A special shout out to J Baldy who has gifted me some of my all time favourite tracks and is truly generous with sharing the gems he finds. Like these - Send him back because I can't forget


a haiku

it's nonsensical!
Throw my hands up in the air
party going wild

Rock on party people


xo



Idealist


I've been told I need to toughen up - I'm too nice. 

When I was told that I internally smirked, pfft - you don't know me. 

It's not that I am not nice it's more so that I realize being nice is the grease on the wheel of 'give me what I want'. Not that I'm asshole at heart - what I want is more often that not group consensus, my friends to be happy, people of the world to join hands and start a love train. Love train. I know, disco does rule. It's happy music. Unless you are in a glass case of emotion, then it might ride your last frazzled nerve. 

Not disco - just nice. You're nice.

I do think happiness is a choice. A goddamn hard one from time to time since some days this is me: 


Like our friend Mimi - you gotta shake, shake, shake it off. 

If that don't work there is always the Dammit Doll
Mine is George. I love him. 

What really works are homies, great ones. I have collected a varied sampling therein. If someone is trying to cheer me up and my response is to suck harder on the teat of bitterness, I try a new person. Not that the first person wasn't great but I can be intractable. I know, hard to believe and yet. 

Sushi for breakfast
Living la vida loca
it's Suntory time 


xo 

Thursday, 18 October 2012

You're not the Boss of me!

Petulance?

Don't mind if I do!

I am all the colours of the rebellious flag. If there is a hint of finger wagging, gentle encouragement, suggestions on the wrong day...LAWD help you and the rage you have instilled in my harbouring soul. 


Also, I realize I need gold sparkly stilettos.

Further to my tangent - I would love to be a drag queen, outlandish outfits, 7 inch lucite heels, constant fake eyelashes...Swoon! I love it all and campiness vibrates in my soul like a siren song. Many things vibrate in my soul like a siren song. Destined to be dashed on the rocks of life? C'est possible.  

I am exceptionally rebellious when being told what to do, there's a change in plans, someone knows 'better' than me and a myriad of options. Instead of remaining calm realizing that the other person's words/acts/thoughts have nothing to do with me I get VERKLEMPT! Who do YOU think you are? I'm not Wrong! (Especially if I'm wrong) 


I feel my new lesson in life is letting go - the universe has been trying a long ass time to teach me this lesson. So now I am trying. Is this person trying to help me? What does getting upset about 'that' really mean about me/my truth? What actually happened? Does it make a positive difference to the situation to get upset or would taking a step back and thinking for a moment prevent me from getting mired in circular thoughts?


I recently had a lesson in letting go - I had attached important emotional weight to an object given to me by a departed friend. When I found out it had been stolen, there were tears. It took me some time (and a shout out to my best friend who told me at the right time knowing I am not good with out of left field change. MER!) but I finally said that object is not my friend, it doesn't represent him and I have not lost him by losing this item. And like the Ancient Mariner, once I let go, that Albatross fell off. I was very impressed with myself and committed to reminding me of this situation and how good it felt to let go. And then the item came back. For one second I was overjoyed - thanks for the reward universe! and then I was like, well - I worked so hard to get through an old pattern of behaviour for nothing? Never fucking satisfied this girl. 


a haiku:


Let myself be free

making the paper chains bind
Fold back the bullshit

However, letting go - I am ready to embrace it. 


Being vulnerable?...let's put a pin in that lesson for down the road...


Let go


xo 




Tuesday, 9 October 2012

There's love

My soul sister and her now husband started saying this early in their relationship. I feel it was used instead of 'I love you' because of how overused that phrase can be and in hearing them saying it I felt it was deeper, in that there was more recognition of the individual and respect. What I also get from it is that it is an in the moment thing. A recognition of the fragility of love. Sure, it's supposed to be enduring and stalwart and in instances it is but the most fulfilling loves in my life I work on. I take as a daily challenge to shore up, reaffirm and examine it's status and resource in my life. 

This train of thought is coming from having seen this video on The Upworthy website:


Simple and beautiful. Love.


I start crying at the 13:00 min mark but as anyone who knows me can attest - me crying is not hard to accomplish. When Maury Povich has his Baby Daddy reveals, I'm crying with whomever starts crying first. The tears evaporate when someone starts to whoop that trick but that's another post. Also, I love McCain Smiles fries. They are delicious and the Dutch - onto something with their mayonnaise as a dip idea. Don't hate! Try it, maybe mixed with something like curry mmmm or paprika and smoked salt. I'm starving. What am I talking about?...


Love! Right! 


Haiku break:


Keeping love always

Imbuing every cell
What a gorgeous force

What I sound like in my mind


Throw your arms in the air - or around someone


xo


A

Consistency!

I don't have it!

But I'ma gonna - I can feel it in my marrow. 


I have a consistently good life. Thanksgiving has just rolled around yet again (hello sweet bird) and we're asked to say what we are thankful for. I'm above all thankful that every day is a new chance, ain't nothing set in stone. I'm thankful that I have several moments of gratitude in every day. In chatting with my best friend it was expressed that the expressions of gratitude that fall from our lips, sometimes ring hollow. That stems for a belief on whether or not (usually not - self hate, it's so 2011) you deserve the good that is in your life. I'm working hard on inviting it in but I really have to check what message I am running in the background. What is the Closed Captioning that my ID is receiving and maybe sharing with me. Usually not again - that ID is a goddamn selfish wench. Jokes ID! There's love. But you are a wench. No joke. 


I love chatting with myself in a mirror - that's where the real Gold is mined. Funny doesn't even begin to cover the games that drip from the ubiquitous humour faucet in my brainsicle. I give myself great pep talks. I also give myself shitty memos but I'm learning to wipe the brown onion in my mind with'em and DISCARD! 


Haiku!


Cat dancing a jig

Lattés are my favourite
Canadian pride

Apropos of nothing is that poem. Haikus - why you gotta be so great? It's a question for the ages and sages. 


You wanna song? I'm a giver - here's a gem:


No greater performer - few better performances. Queen B!! If you disagree, leave this blog. God bless. 


I'm kidding, you can stay. But you're not right. 


xo