Wit and Wisdom

You'll find none of that here, pure nonsense but couldn't we all use a little brain vacation. I'm currently shimmying along to a playlist I made myself on Grooveshark. I love that shiz.

There's this:

I wonder how hard it is to shave a guinea pig? And whom amongst my friends would want to try this? These are the questions keeping me up at night.

I'm really enjoying my new thing of complimenting strangers. They are so startled at the interaction, then befuddled it wasn't wierd/negative (yes, in my mind) and then they laugh that this random thing is happening . It really brings me joy.
I could replay the opening scene of Love Actually with the Hugh Grant voice over ultiple times. And do. 

Pro tip - coconut oil, for everything. By the way - Nature, taking care of business.

I need to take better care of Nature. I really feel like I inch out of my dependance on 'stuff' but I like stuff a lot so it's slow going. Then David Attenborough reminds me the world is awesome and I want to be signing up with Sea Shepherd and only using glassware while bartering and attending clothing exchanges. Or other options but something. I feel so grossed out every time I read about garbage island. Jesus! We only have a million red flags and... I'm getting riled up, I need to simmer down. yet, still take action.

I really want to go tailgate partying. I may have mentioned it before and so I hope the next time I mention it, it's happened and I'm speaking in exclamation points. However, it looks like a humdinger of a good time, which I am a huge fan of. I just like American men. It almost pains me to admit it but the Southern ones especially. WEAK! I am so weak for. I have made bad decisions while dickmatized by Southern men. I have had a random sampling of several Southwestern states and I have to tell you ... nothing. But know my mind is on full replay mode.

However, football. It's way more enjoying now that I have an idea on how it works as opposed to a lot of tiny men on TV going smashy smashy plus beer. I also need to find a rugby watching friend in Ontario as I miss it from my life. Not to play again, I don't think. I really do want to take up a martial art. It's funny I often mention that on first dates and drop a casual, 'what do you think?' to the dude. I did judge that evening's bachelor based on his response but not anymore - totally judgement free zone here now. With 50% more truth.

I cannot wait to go to Moksha tomorrow and work out the remainder of my cold, before I get on a plane, and keep the joints lubricated. I need to get hydrated. I had a lot of coffee today. I love you, Coffee. I love you in every way you show up, campstove, Tim Hortons, french pressed, Vietnamese, in tiny cups. I should coat myself in a layer of coconut oil and get water in me as I had several raw cloves of garlic and frankly, that might be something in a steamy room. I mean, if it was me next to me, I would have a raging hunger if I had to inhale garlic while working on my fitness but, possibly not others.

Beyonce break. Shit.

I hope my future partner is a huge fan of peeling fruits and leaving them out for me. When he's not folding. After back massages. While smoking bacon in the backyard. And buying me tickets to Beyonce.

The sun stayed out until 6:00pm today so basically I feel like I am careening towards sweaty summer and sun dresses. People watching just is 72% better. I need to find a better paraben-free sunscreen though. The last one I got was too zinc-y and made me look like this:

Everyone's happier! They're on Cottage countdown. 

I just started Scandal last night, I'ma go ahead and leave you now to continue that. Which reminds me I need a good book to read. Research time. I love research time. Or I could phone a friend. 

New Pro-tip: gather as many friends as you can as they know shit, can do shit, will trade for yo shit. Larger network is basically like being rich. Only, cool. And I think it wards of dementia. Plus love and affection which I think wards off dementia. 

Happy birthday to El Tomo, genius party dog, margarita mixer extraordinaire and all around solid dude. Love. 

a haiku:

new year eve kicked ass
thrust joy into every day
advocate, don't hate

xo