Is that frisky in the air?

I don't know if this is a four season thing but shit, spring makes people RANDY in Ontario.

We've all been wearing parkas/mittens/scarves/giant boots/carting bags of business wear and suddenly...you don't have all that. Suddenly, you want to bare every inch of skin possible as it is ghost white and this indignity will not stand, man!
People are giving each other the hey, girl, hey looks all over the place. Omigod. Where did they come from? is an oft heard cry. They were there last summer too, homey, but now with 24% more sexaaaayyyyy!!

I, for one, am all for it. I intend to do a sublime blend of sunglasses (I look good) vs hairy eyeball and undress hot men openly with my eyeballs. Hello, Nudie. Honestly, if this was the Matrix the green flowly data bits would be hormones clogging up the air supply. Go forth, humans! Multiply! or use contraceptives wisely and just fuck a lot. Either or.

I was reading the secret to long life (there is only one) includes garlic (check), positive thinking (check) and inversion tables (this list maybe bunk) so basically at 66% success - I'm feeling good about my prospects. If the secret in truth ends up being lack of drugs and alcohol - I'm hooped and accept it.

And THEN - winter is back. Mother Nature, tease. Bending everyone over and making them desperate for her sweet, sultry summer return.

This just serves to jerk the people into a frenzy of anticipation. Well, I know I am anticipating the hell out of summer dresses and eyeballing people and the smell of summer skin. I love the smell of summer skin. God bless 6 straight months of hot, hot, heat.

Was driving down the highway passing one of our national brewing companies and noticed the sign had the 'L' burnt out. So what I saw was MO! Son! 
BWAHAHAHA! I DO want some 'Mo. No, I don't. Your beer is not delicious. I was with my sweet mumma during this drive and while I am slapping the dashboard in pure mirth she is stone faced. Mumma! I say. Mo!...Son!! and beam at her...
'Oh, I get it.' She says deadpan. Which kills my joy for 10 mins. Until it replays in my mind. Back to the joy. I love repeating jokes in my head. God, good one Self! Self high five!!

Soon the people will be complaining about the heat. Not me as I gave myself a pass to complain about weather in the last province so don't wanna keep Complain Nation going. I do need to ge the memo on not rushing around town. Slow and Low will be my new modus operandi. 

I also intend to mindfully make my way to the beach with sunscreen. I will be putting sunscreen in every bag I own. 33 years it took me to get this lesson. High fives on learning! I also need a replacement Jenny from the block hat as I lost my last one in Baltimore. Sex scrambles the brain. Which I accept. 

I'm gonna feel the earth rise up to support me, I am going to throw out high fives like confetti and throw my head back to laugh imbued with bursting joy. I am going to take time to watch beads of condensation slowly slide down glasses tinkling with large ice cubes that I will slide down my neck to counter the heat. Hedonism. Because it feels good. 

#TeamMFBestSummerEver

xo

a haiku:

easy, rolling wave
inhale deeply from . your neck
condensation drips