Go Bus Musings

I have FOMO.

Fear of missing out. This means that people jokingly say my middle name is, "I'm in" as there are very few things/new experiences/opportunities that I will say no to. I do forego nights in, as I can't take the chance that these pints are 'THAT time.' The story unfolding without me as a contributing character? I say, nay. Thou shall not sally forth without me on the Team. I was recently called the Pied Piper of Good Times and I have seldom been so happy with an appellation.

Now, I do believe I am the only Commander of this ship and while I have operated like it's a perpetual solo mission in the past, I now want to give another captain a chance. I can be a saucy confidante, cheer leader and co-conspirator.  

My iPod on random is directing these adventitious musings.

I just want a first date and enough communication from you to determine at the end if we want to high five, wishing one another the best on future hunts or making plans got further mayhem. I'll be honest in my communication - even if from time to time it's that I don't want to communicate. I want someone as is, recognizing we are all changing and getting cooler and more free. 

Keep your face radical - I'm addicted to finding new music both that moves me and the sweet posteriors of those I shoulder shake with. It continually blows me away to see the joy beaming from dozens of faces as they shimmy in syncopation, eyes closed, united by notes and words that bounced around a stranger's head until it was birthed out to have resonance in waves, passed from friend to file sharing program, to coffee shop, to Shazam, to friend, to blog to this moment. 

I listen to Biggie and while I have zero idea of what it's like to be a black man in public housing or why Christmas missed us, I can hear my experience in not letting others hold me down and the lottery fantasies we all entertain. If you don't know, now you know. Big up, 1994.
Followed by Robyn which immediate puts me in a little club in Vancouver and all my friends dancing. Unbridled and invigorated, a-glow with perspiration and the magnification of their own energy and happiness reflected from every shiny face around them. 

You know when you feel the joy start in your heart and pulsing out to feel like it's set every cell vibrating because all there is, is now/this. My brain shouts, I'm so happy! and I stamp it into all the dark shadows, eroding their gnarled clutches in the recesses of my mind. 

Who's hotter than Beyonce in Baby Boy? Nobody.

I'ma get myself one of those sparkly numbers when I have honed my figure into a pillar of strength. And pay someone to teach me several rounds of Beyonce's choreography. BAM! write that shit down. I'm awesome.

These unfiltered thoughts have been brought to you from one tryptophan coma bleeding into another. Everyone I've spoken to loves Thanksgiving - all the fun with none of the stress of presents. Just being thankful. 

It is incredible how much happier we are when the sun is shining. Thanks, ball of fire. You do good work. I love cinnamon, it ignites my innards I feel warm and saucy. I love feeling saucy. Dudes.

I love public transit. Except the days I don't, like in the winter when everyone piles in with their we parkas, smelling like pond dipped dogs, carrying their office shoes and all the other shenanigans you dispense with in the summer, grimacing at one another for daring to need so much space.
However, witnessing swoon-y couples not carrying about public displays, knitting grandmas casting baleful glances at unruly teenagers, loud talkers boisterously recounting some incredible tale (guilty) and iPod stuffed/book shielded introverts on a mission really makes me ponder my compatriots. I love wondering about their travels and how much life, love, sorrow, mystery is stuffed in these under ground cans hurtling sub- terra. 

Sliding Doors is one of my favourite movies and I think about the possibility that I am living several concurrent lives determined by the choice to have sushi or mediterranean in the food court. What brings this particular group of humanity together in this moment? Where do we all ripple out to? A fragile, shimmering, unheeded web between us. I love that National geographic story of the seal trying to feed the camera man. 

 I think a soul's default mode is nurturing, we just pile on a bunch of hooks like selfishness, impatience, self-doubt etc on it. However, when we are kind - a space for another soul to feel safe and flourish in, that's why we feel so good. Fulfilling on the soul's desired purpose. Go forth, make love. I don't mean get frisky (but please, do get frisky) since making love as a phrase gives me the no feeling but more so make love the default mode, where all decisions and commitments start from. I know intellectually when I operate from a place of doing for others I actually tap the most reward, bright surprises exploded generously in my experience. I wanted you to know, that I am ready to go - heartbeat.

My favourite colour is lying beneath the trees, sun streaming through leaves, green. There's nothing like it. And hooker red. Those are my two favourites.
You go punch dance out your joy - or rage until you feel joy. 

a haiku:

Anticipation

heartbeat speeds up just before...

the pause before us

xo