Red Tent

Oh hey hey

I had a shot of wheatgrass and am drinking a healthy beverage from Jugo Juice so that my body is tricked into health and wellness before I drink a few bottles of wine tonight. I mean, glasses. 

This will not win me friends and influence people but - I hate LOL. If something is truly funny that doesn't do it justice. If it's funny - I LAUGHED OUT LOUD. There is no judicious reason for my antipathy. Tis what it is. I know it's so it fits better in text messages but I don't like it. 

In other news, it's Friday and I am happy about it. Take a Ride on the flyin' spoon.

However, I am stating my intention to take on the inbred malicious competition between women. I'm not exactly sure how it starts. I know it's early as I remember sweet faced assholes in elementary. There is also a surreptitious desire to show that you're not like 'those' women - you're cooler than that cattiness, not recognizing that having to put another female down, bro'ing out and calling each other bitches is a stealthy patriarchal convention of divide and conquer. To all the lesbros, dudes, homies, amigos that are constantly saying bitches be crazy - you're not wrong but..that's because everyone is their own special snowflake, running a narrative they are too afraid to voice out loud and get clarity on since no one wants to be vulnerable. I know, gentlemen, you don't think that you contribute to this and I see the way you are genuinely clueless to this sometimes.  I get lumped in as 'one of the guys' often as commitment makes me hyperventilate and so I keep you and me FIRMLY in the dudes/friends zone.  

Ladies - I can tell you that while it is wearying to have to constantly prove I am not out to undercut you/steal your bf-hubby/spread gossip about you, I am willing to put in that work because I love you complicated, macro-thinking, threads-juggling gems. It's ok that your emotions are running high/are out of whack but the thing is you have to take charge. The responsibility of getting 'that bitch' to stop treating you that way is stop hoping karma gets her or that she'll see how right you are and you make a choice. Either talk to her, and dispense with the notion she is part of Jojo's Psychic Alliance, or kill her with kindness. I do this in every office I walk into - I mean, not with the people who are easygoing naturally, I high five them off the bat. However, if I find I am getting side-eyes from a femme-bot, I recognize that she doesn't know me and whatever she has told herself is a story outside of me/my control and I work slowly, steadily to break her out of that fiction and bring her into the zone where we are just individuals who are reasonable adults. Who step outside of the notion of 'zero-sum' where one of us has to lose in order for the other to 'win.' Smile. If you catch some brain chatter that really has no basis in fact, (and you can't count that one time she did that 'thing' - as we all can have moments of discourteousness) and it is not their whole personality/self,  just say 'I am not buying that. I'm going to go see how she feels about alpaca wool vs blended wool or if Brad Pitt has truly lost his mind doing that Chanel commercial.' Be a friend. I'm not saying if you have a vagina we have to be BFFs for life but being nice isn't actually that hard - it's some effort but so's being a meany. 

I am focusing on tha ladeeeez as I happen to be one but really, if everyone could be a little less 'right' and a little more prone to asking what someone actually means to communicate or how collaboration nation could happen - well, that'd be great. 

Take it home, Whitney 

a haiku:
Sharing is caring
Oranges smell really great
Shimmying is fun

xo

(P.S. I'm sorry about the ads before the youtube videos. Balls)