We're in Banff in a hot tub strangely unpopulated. Obviously we have bought craft gin and we have drank, a lot of it. We are screaming with laughter, feeling our feelings, hyping each other's greatness up and looking forward to dinner. We've enjoyed a road trip where I have sung terribly, CMB belting it out like the GD rockstar she is. This is a firefly memory, it glows within me each time I recall.
We drove to Nipissing Uni in the dead of night, no recollection why so late, and she was breaking up with her first/only boyfriend. I stayed silent each time we drifted close to the curved cement medians on the way to North Bay as she's crying and yelling. Except when she did almost murder us. I murmured her name so as not to redirect the anger. We later slurped home made Portugese wine off a table when a glass was knocked over.
I'm playing our current favourite Kylie Minogue song as we sail over the Cambie street bridge watching the sun come up as we head into work. This is the second time we have worked together, both times were the best. The second time we were living together, working and sharing the same friend group and activities so were side by side 98% of the time. Barely had any dust ups. Referenced previously, this would be where I had been taking care of a friend of ours and in a burnt out moment, went walking in the rain not answering my phone until I got to our back door which was flung open and arms grabbed me into a hug. I trust very little and no one 100% but I do trust that those arms will be reaching for me in joy and sorrow forever.
I was her wingman when she started dating her second gf, as we were plunged into a group of Masters of Architecture cohort where we lowly mid BA babies were a little intimidated (they had traveled! Ate avocados all the time! Were cosmopolitan and discussed philosophy because it applied and not off a bookmark!) I once drove home the white (lincoln continental? I'm bad with cars but it was fucking massive, the front seat was bench that could fit 4 people) land-whale car when I def should not have been behind a wheel for the secondary reason of having no driver's license so they could have an argument. ( I have been in so many mom and dad are fighting in front of me situations. No matter how much you wish it, you can't turn inside out nor wish your ears into not hearing) I think I scrapped a front corner of the car but I threw that bitch in park and fled home like a thief in the night.
When we lived on Mary St., one time a dude came to the door at some ungodly hour and banged the shit out of our glass front door. I eventually shuffled my evening visitor off me (thanks for the help, bro) and threw on a tank top, flung open my door full of the Lord's righteous indignation and saw several pairs of eyes staring back at me as I stomp down the stairs growing increasingly incensed at both my fun time being interrupted and me being the only person out of 5 in the house to make a move. A dude the size of a sumo wrestler, weaving drunk was looking for a broad that did not live there and it took me a solid four minutes of, you've got the wrong house bro/but I'm looking for Lady X before sumo shuffled off into the dark night. When I got back upstairs, you shouldn't have gone! who knows who it could have been! and what would we have done about the broken glass door? I am seldom the dom in the situation but fuck you if I get mad. We also had a bat in this house. I woke up to a disturbance in the force which was my naked BFF flying from her room to mine in an attempt to get me to do something. Shan't was the reply so we double naked rolled across the hall to try and make L do something about it. None of us were masters of nature nor fearless. But we were excellent as skipping M/W/F's 8:30 am class to go to Ground Zero for cheap breakfast. We also almost burnt the neighbourhood to the ground for NYE and I bum rushed someone who had fallen on our stairs from our attic (which were legit an illegal hazard) breaking a stair with her back out of our house chanting you're trespassing. #heartofgold #blessed.
Our last year of university was the year of 9/11. I had drank a bottle of whisky in honour of my dad's birthday with my roommate Jeff (shout out to Rheffai) and showed up to my 8:30 am English class with a hat on my head as the state I was in made the suggestion of resting my hat bill on the desk and not my actual head would fool the teacher into thinking I was awake. A previous dorm mate was sitting next to me and whispered the situation to me when I asked her in what I thought was an inside voice (twasn't) what the teacher was fucking talking about. Oh. Said teacher dismissed the class being a dual citizen and having friends and family in NYC and wanting to go find out who was safe. Still being in a haze, I just walked in a random direction as my brain tried to make sense of the day's events, still brand new at that time with a lot not yet known, and I tried to figure out if classes were still happening or I should take my messy ass home. I ended up at the SLC somehow and as I entered the building, which was the main student hub/resource building for everything not academic and hundreds of people are occupying at all hours of every day. I look up and see her. I walk to her and she bursts out with have you seen? This is terrifying. We go to one break out room we pass with a dozen student crowded around a 70s tv. I see the planes and towers for the first time and this is one of the first time my life bubble gets cracked and I am aware enough to process. We go to the pub in the SLC, in the moment ironically named Bomb Shelter, and say fuck it 10 am is the time to start drinking on this day. We ask for a couple pints of Keiths and the bartender says just a few minutes/changing kegs so we go to the back patio. We see a couple friends as they cross campus and all of us are bewildered. The bartender comes out a few minutes later with bottle instead apologizing for the delay. Time is a construct and we are just talking about how could this happen? How do people move on where this kind of thing is commonplace which had previously been too far out of our scope of thought and experience. The bartender brings out second bottles and more apologies even though the idea of pint feels abstract. We listen to R.E.M. (all the irony) and eventually get the requested pints. We later went home (or to the Architects?) and made a huge dinner and called all our families to say we love them. I know I'll always find her or her me and sometimes, keeping on the booze train is the way to stay afloat.
I have a million 'remember the time?...' that I could wax on about but, in summation, I am old enough now to know friendships like these are not common nor easy. The time we almost drifted apart and the fights I'm sure we had but don't really remember are markers of time and how high the joys remain. She makes me feel like I am truly special, that we will be cheersing in the future to all we have seen, done and enjoyed. Sitting peaceably in the truth of hard times. Still finding each other hilarious, being a cheerleader for all their goals and dreams and saying 'can you believe?...'.
I hope we live in the same town again one day as it's our favourite to do every day, mundane things but always together.
You make my life better. You stop crying.
a haiku:
We morning swimming?
Camping, Marathon danger
cuddle while asleep
Love you forever.
xo
A
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